I dreamt that I was at a cafe eating with my grade 8 science teacher. I went over to chat with my elementary guy friends who weren’t too far from Sandro, jae and Aaron. Sandro called me from the table and asked me to check if there were some free tables at the middle of the cafe from my angle. I couldn’t quite tell but I knew he didn’t ask me for no reason. Why would he speak to me all of a sudden? I figured he had a date. I was right. Even tho he was eating with the guys he was gonna eat again with this cute shy Spanish/Mexican chick. Lol fatass. I saw him call to her when she walked by and I accidentally bumped into her in the washroom omw out. When I came out of the washroom I saw that he was already at the new table laying out the food (rofl chicken nuggets and shit)

I laid in bed longer than I should, just thinking about what I could have done in that situation. I imagined having a guy approach me and take my mind off of him and that girl. Honestly, my feelings are still somewhat there for the AC. I miss him and there are many times where I just wish we were still together because I missed how cute and adorable he was, that his smile and his laughter and his pleasure was because of me but it’s not the case anymore because we aren’t together and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.

It hurts because I feel like this is my fault but I know for a fact that it was because we just both weren’t compatible for each other but I can’t help but keep thinking that it was my fault that it didn’t work out that I pushed too much for his affections and that pushed him away.

I don’t know what to do with myself and I don’t know if I can bear the thought of seeing him with another girl, it would just hurt too much. I know he’s seen me with other guys and I wonder if he’s had any poor opinions of me since then and it was sort of done just to spite him and to feel better about myself but I still truly miss him because I guess I just don’t have anyone else to compare to because he is my first legitimate boyfriend.

Ultimately it depends on the role models that you choose to follow. For a while, I followed stars that are well known in my area. They were sexy and sassy but I didn’t always want to be that and so I felt inadequate as the odd one out amongst my peers. I didn’t have any role models that I could really say, hey! I’m not weird, there ARE people who dress the way I do, they’re just more prominent in other places! And that’s how I’m following suit now. I have my preppy sources that I love and admire because look, sorry, but yes, dressing very sexy and provocative may be all nice but I don’t like attracting the wrong attention. I don’t want to attract sleazy douchebags that want nothing more than a quick game of cat and mouse and fuck. I want someone who’s interested in courtship - getting to know me and providing me with the same token so there’s no doubt in my mind of whether this is headed for disaster.

It’s not enough that I dress plain classy. I need branded reinforcements to show to the people of my area that indeed this is popular and accepted, have you heard of this brand before? Well Google it. Pinterest and IG, Tumblr it, because it exists and I’m not weird or wrong for straying away from what you guys like doing. I just want to be happy in my own skin. It’s a lonely road because I don’t have preppy pals to stand by me, they’re all in the states, but Ik that if I were to get recognized dressing as such there, I would easily and confidently fit in - that is, if I’m rich enough.

I don’t understand the people who post up pictures of their parents, relatives, grandparents that are attached to cheesy I love you, birthday, mother’s day, father’s day, etc messages on social media - when these honored people don’t even have or look at social media. It’s like these posters are posting them out of vain for likes when the whole point has been missed out



anonymous asked: mary and bash or mary and francis


You ever have a dream so vivid that it takes you a while after you wake up to realize it wasn’t actually true? Like you found money or something in your dream but then you wake up and don’t have that $200 bucks anymore? Like that? Well this morning I didn’t realize I wasn’t actually dating Chris Evans until I went to try to send him a text before brushing my teeth.

(via sebastiianstann)



every time my parents tell me something that I should’ve done that is not helpful to the conversation I’m going to reply with some historical event that shouldn’t have happened like

"You should’ve gotten up earlier"

"Hitler shouldn’t invaded Czechoslovakia"

"You should’ve gotten higher grades then"

"Abraham Lincoln should’ve hired a better bodyguard then"

I witnessed this live, I feel special

(via sebastiianstann)

When you’re a young girl, your goal is to attract the affections of boys.

When you become a woman, your goal isn’t so much to attract the affections of another man, but to capture his heart as well. 

Beauty is superficial and many boys and men don’t see beyond it. It is the men that harbour true feelings for a woman that are successful in their love lives.

Guys don’t recall the hookups they’ve had because they don’t mean anything. But they do recall the relationships they’ve been in because those are ones where they were actually serious and genuine.

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